Something strange can happen after we get married or are committed to a long-term relationship and it’s not necessarily good!!
We go from the dating phase-taking great care and pride in making sure we present our most appealing self to our potential mate (all very primal of us, isn’t it?!) to, after years of partnership, slipping into either not caring about our appearance anymore or hiding our body away entirely! Uh oh!
Of course, unconditional love and acceptance is the best in any relationship but so are healthy attitudes about taking care of ourselves and working to stay as fit and attractive to our mates as possible! This goes for both genders.
Guys: It’s OK to Care About How You Look
Guys fall into this trap that they’re not supposed to care about how they look, with statements like:
“Women don’t care if I’m pudgy.”
You’re married now or in a long term-relationship so it doesn’t matter how you look. Whoa, hang on! Have you heard or even thought, “Women don’t care if I’m pudgy,” or perhaps, “A gut on a man is a sign of success”?
I heard that jokingly over the years from my hubby and others and my response was. . . Ummm, that’s not true! We don’t need your love handles, as much as you don’t need ours! My response was this and still is: ”If I’m working to keep my body fit and attractive then you should too.” The definition of success varies depending on who you’re talking to as does the opinion regarding a “pudgy” midsection.
Appearance is certainly not THE most important part in a relationship, but I think most would agree it does matter, even for men.
Girls: Find & Keep Your Confidence
Now, ladies, you don’t escape here I’m afraid…I have heard often from women some version of:
”I’m embarrassed to let my partner see me naked” or even: ”I NEVER let them see me naked!”
I hope that’s not you, but if it is, please know that it’s a normal thought many women have and it’s OK to do something about it (versus, hiding yourself away!).
After all, we should be most comfortable with our partner, and visual appeal is a healthy part of any relationship. But as our body changes over the years it is more challenging to find that confidence and comfort-you’re both changing and the “blessing” of more years starts to become visible on both genders.
We’ve seen various versions of these two statements prominent in both men AND women, and it’s not just a vanity thing, it’s about healthy relationships.
So remember, healthy maintenance of your appearance forms part of the overall picture of healthy maintenance of your relationship. And ask yourself, “What can I do to keep or find confidence in my physical appearance again?”. Because all good things require focus and discipline, especially when you’re working at being healthy inside and out! And in my book your relationship is worth the dose of extra attention!